I love a good revenge sequence

Watched Death and the Maiden for the first time in a few years. Holy shit is Sigourney Weaver ever a badass. Any woman who calmly states 'shut up bitch,' before stuffing her panties into the mouth of her presumed rapist that she's tied to a chair wins my love and respect.  Sadly there are new parallels to be gleaned from the movie of a post 9/11, Gitmo America and the 'unnamed fascist South American country' striving for democracy used as the cinematic backdrop. Can't wait till Bush the neocon torturer is out of office and just a faint memory.

I shoulda asked for the digits

Yesterday on the way to the bus stop a dirty man approached me. Ignoring the fact that I had on headphones he proceeded to talk to me.

Him: Can I ask you a question?

Me: (groaning internally) Eghhh... I guess

Him: Do I have something on my ass?

Me: What?

Him: Do I have something on my ass? I just got out of a dumpster.

They hijack the buses using wack music

I was always confused as to why Mos Def was so hellbent on giving shoutouts to 'the Cackalacks' aka the Carolinas. Years later I finally discovered NC's Little Brother, wondering how I could've missed out on them for so long. ''The Listening" remains one of my favorite records and that particular song contains arguably the best line in history to ever reference Michael J. Fox: "Alex Keaton always frontin like he high post." I'm genuinely considering putting that on a t-shirt.
I like the latest record even though brilliant producer extraordinaire 9th wonder (whom Jean Grae refers to as 'cool as sheeyit' on her cover of Jay-Z's 'threat,' which 9th created) is no longer in the group. Oh yeah, and self-proclaimed 'pretty boy' Lil Wayne is on it. How does that dude have any spare time? Seriously.

I get so weak in the knees

As a skinny, honky preteen in hillbillyia, I dedicated most of my time to listening to soulful r&b and wishing I were black. I had a very distinct musical preference for groups using three letter acronym monikers: TLC, ABC, (Sup Iesha! Catch you at the playground!) and my favorite, SWV.

SWV featured frontwoman Coko, the tough but glamorous, mini-bouffant-rocking, black leather wearing, baby mama to Digable Planets hottie Ish Butler, diva. After rewatching the video for 'I'm so into you' it also appears she's a fencing enthusiast.

And I can't neglect the fingernails. Those claws were
serious. They could hurt you. badly. They could peel an orange in 2 seconds flat. They could pick car locks effortlessly. I remember thinking, 'how can she turn on the faucet to take a shower?' But if you're Coko, you don't need to turn on the faucet. You get another bitch with short fingernails to do it for you.

I bet I'd like your underwear

Dear Ms. Verity:
I love you. I mean I really, REALLY love you. Last night I even tried willing myself to dream of you like some Carlos Castaneda ish and it FUCKING WORKED except you were making out with some dude instead of me, so I woke up.

You got it down.